Domestic Violence

Introduction to Family Violence

Family violence is a universal problem. It knows no age, color, income, religious or educational boundaries. Our own society is not immune.

There is growing community concern about family violence, but it is often difficult for people to acknowledge violence in intimate or familial relationships. The violence occurs nonetheless, and for the abused family member or loved one, this violence is away of life. There are several categories of family violence which can occur within one home or family, included in these categories are:

• Child Abuse
• Elder Abuse
• Parent Abuse
• Sibling Abuse
• Spouse Abuse

This web page focuses primarily on spouse abuse (or domestic violence). Even though this term implies violence among married couples, men and women DO NOT have to married for this type of violence to occur. Though the “abused” is generally referred to in the female persona and the “abuser” in the male persona, these roles may be played by either gender.

Facts & Statistics

Most official estimates of family violence rely largely on Federal Bureau of Investigation, Department of Social Services, Local Law Enforcement and emergency room reports. Many women, however only report abuse to their friends, family members, counselors, doctors, nurses, or clergy members. These sources of information are not included in state and national crime surveys, nor do most reports show the number of violent incidents experienced by individual battered women. Therefore, statistics on family violence (including the following) only provide a glimpse of the magnitude of this problem. They do not provide a complete accounting of the actual violence experienced in intimate relationships and in the home.

• Women account for 95 percent of domestic violence victims. A woman is more likely to be assaulted, injured, raped, or killed by a male partner than by any other type of assailant.
• An estimated 3 to 4 million American women are battered each year by their husbands or partners.
• In 1991, more than 90 women were murdered every week; nine of ten by men.
• Weapons are used in 30 percent of domestic violence incidents.
• Medical expenses from domestic violence total $3 to $5 billion annually.
• Business forfeit another $100 million in lost wages, sick leaves, absenteeism, and nonproductively.
• Abusive husbands and boyfriends harass 74 percent of employed battered women at work, either in person or on the telephone, causing 20 percent to lose their jobs.
• As violence against women becomes more severe and more frequent in the home, children experience a 300 percent increase in physical violence by the male battered.
• Wife-beating results in more injuries requiring medical treatment than rape, car accidents and mugging combined.
• More than one million women seek medical assistance annually for injuries caused by battering.
• One fifth of all women treated by emergency rooms receive their injuries from their male partners.
• Violence will occur at least once in two-thirds of all marriages

Domestic Abuse & Pregnancy

Many men abuse their partner for the first time when she becomes pregnant. The male feel jealous of his partner’s focus on the pregnancy and the impending birth of their children. 5 to 25 percent of pregnant women are battered. In just one hospital emergency room 21 percent of the pregnant women who arrived for treatment had been battered. Those pregnant women who had been battered had twice as many miscarriages as nonbattered women. Fourty percent of battered women have been battered while pregnant. Nearly 50 percent of abusive husbands batter their wives when they are pregnant. Pregnant women who are battered are four times more likely to bear infants with low birth weight. The March of Dimes now recognizes that many birth defects result from abuse during pregnancy.

Some Characteristics of A Battered Women

• Accepts traditional male/female roles.
• Is passive, placating and easily dominated
• Equates dominance with masculinity.
• Feels she has no human rights, including the right NOT to be hit.
• Accepts guilt even when she has done no wrong.
• Feels that she must help her mate.
• Acts as a buffer between her partner and the rest of the world, including their children.
• Needs to be needed.
• Underestimates or ignores the danger of the situation.
• Has unshakable faith that things will improve, or feels that there is absolutely nothing she can do about her situation.
• Bases self-worth on her ability to “catch” and “keep” a man.
• Suffer from low self-esteem.
• Doubts her own sanity.

The Children’s Safety

If a battered woman leaves the residence, she should take her children with her. She should not leave them with the abuser. She may face difficulty or delays in getting custody of the children if they are left with the abuser. If the victim has already left the house, but can go back to get the children safely, she should do so immediately, if she feels that she or her children are in imminent danger, she should call the police and have them accompany her to retrieve the children and/or personal belongings.

Characteristics of the Male Batterer

• Jealousy (often imagines wife is having affairs).
• Tries to isolate and control wife.
• Jekyll and Hyde personalities.
• May have other problems with the law.
• Explosive temper; flies into a rage without provocation.
• Blames wife for everything, even his own faults.
• Verbally assaults wife (insults, put downs, name calling).
• Denies or claims he can’t remember the beatings or their severity.
• Will drive wife away, then do anything to get her back. He may apologize profusely,
• Send her flowers or lavish her with gifts.
• Once wife returns, the cycle continues.
• Many batterers were raised in violent homes and grew up believing that hurting people was okay. They never learned acceptable ways to handle conflict, and know unacceptable ways to handle conflict, and know only unacceptable (violent) ways to deal with their anger.

What To Do If You Know A Victim of Abuse?

If you know someone who is a victim of domestic violence, tell him or her about the nearest available services and offer assistance in gaining access to these services. Available services include local hotlines, shelters, rape crisis centers, and women centers. For additional information about available services, contact the Department of Social Services or the Jacksonville Police Department’s Victim / Witness coordinator at 910 455-1472. For more information about spouse abuse or family violence, you may also contact:

Crime Prevention Division

NC Dept. of Crime Control & Public Safety
Post Office Box 29591, Raleigh, NC 27626-0591
919.733.5522 - Fax 919.715.0227

Domestic Violence - The Hidden Crime

As many as four million women in this country suffer some kind of violence as the hands of their husbands or boyfriends each year. Very few will tell anyone - a friend, a relative, a neighbor, or the police.

Victims of domestic violence come from all walks of life, all cultures, all income groups, all ages, all religions. They share feelings of helplessness, isolation, guilt, fear, and shame.

Victims are not legally required to report incidents of domestic violence. However, a domestic violence victim can and should contact local law enforcement immediately after any violent incident takes place.

Law enforcement officers can take the necessary measures to protect the victim from further harm. They can advise the victim of her legal rights for protection and can direct her to sources of shelter, medical care, and counseling. Officers also can transport a victim to a hospital, magistrate or battered women’s shelter, and can escort her home to collect personal effects.

In North Carolina, a victim may request the Clerk of Court to issue a domestic violence protection order. The order, often referred to as a “temporary restraining order” or “50-B order,” can be obtained without an attorney present. The order can:

• Order the abuser not to assault, threaten, abuse, harass or interfere with the victim or her children - either in person or on the telephone,
• Allow the victim to live in the home, and order the batterer to leave and not return.
• Give the victim possession of personal property (i.e. clothing and household goods),
• Give the victim possession and use of the car,
• Order the abuser to stay away from the victim’s home, workplace, school, the children’s school and daycare, or any place where the victim is seeking shelter;
• Give the victim temoprary custody of minor children and order the abuser to pay child support.
• Allow local law enforcement to remove the abuser from the home and help the victim return to the home.